


All I Hear Is Your Gear

by MaximumAwkward



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, M/M, The Infamous Cupboard Incident, queen at ridge farm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 16:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17348891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaximumAwkward/pseuds/MaximumAwkward
Summary: “Well fine. I’ll show you guys strong enough.” Roger stormed over to the cupboard and before anyone could stop him, he locked himself inside. “I’m not coming out until my song gets to be the B-side.” He yelled through the door. “Good luck making the rest of the album without me! Hah!” The other three men looked at each other.“He won’t last long,” John said confidently.





	All I Hear Is Your Gear

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the infamous, but possibly not true cupboard incident. This is the first thing I've written for Queen, and it's not beta read so bear with me. The title is from "I'm In Love With My Car" by Queen. Find me on Tumblr @Twink-Roger-Taylor, and please leave a comment if you have the time. Thanks <3

The four members of Queen were gathered in the kitchen in Ridge Farm. John and Brian sat at the table, while Freddie paced behind them. Roger stood facing the other three with his arms crossed petulantly.

“Roger, the song is…Catchy- and interesting, really,” Brian said. John nodded along in the background. “But, well, are you sure it’s good enough for the B-side?”

“Yeah I’m sure, that’s why I fucking suggested it,” Roger said and leaned on the kitchen table. 

“Right, of course. But, maybe we should choose something that matches more… thematically.” Freddie said, pausing his pacing to face Roger. 

“Thematically? What’s that supposed to mean?” Roger stood straight up again.

“Well, darling, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is epic poetry, ‘I’m in Love With My Car is…”

“About shagging a car.” John supplied.

“For the last time, it’s a metaphor!” Roger yelled. The other three groaned. 

“A metaphor for what, exactly, Roger?” John asked in exasperation. 

“Well, you know…” Roger said, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“No, we have no idea! That’s the problem!” John said.

“Look, Rog, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I’m just not sure the song is-“ 

“Strong enough?” Roger finished Brian’s sentence and the other man nodded.

“Exactly.”

“Well fine. I’ll show you guys strong enough.” Roger stormed over to the cupboard and before anyone could stop him, he locked himself inside. “I’m not coming out until my song gets to be the B-side.” He yelled through the door. “Good luck making the rest of the album without me! Hah!” The other three men looked at each other. 

“He won’t last long,” John said confidently. 

An hour later, very little had changed. Roger was still in the cupboard. His resolve appeared to grow stronger the more worn down the other three got. After thirty minutes, Brian had sighed and retrieved the red special from the studio. He had practiced a few of his solos, it was important to stay fresh after all. He then had begun to pluck out some things that sounded nice. He got stuck on one riff, that he couldn’t figure out what it would go with when Freddie finally snapped. 

“Isn’t there anything we could play without him?” He asked with his head in his hands.

“Oh, yeah, Fred. We, a rock band, absolutely have a song without any drums.” John responded testily. 

“Oh piss off. It was only a question. Fine then, you two head to the studio. I’ll have him out before you’re even done with the first intro.” Brian and John exchanged looks of doubt but did as they were asked. They both figured it was better to leave Freddie to work some kind of miracle. 

With the other two out of the room, Freddie waltzed over to the door of the cupboard and knocked on it.

“Roger, love, it’s time to come out of the cupboard,” Freddie said.

“Does that mean you’ve decided my song can be the B-side?” Roger asked, his tone defiant.

“No. Roger, you’re being ridiculous. Come out already and we can discuss this like adults!” Freddie leaned his forearms against the door of the cupboard. On the other side, Roger was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his back to the door. 

“No! You lot won’t take me, or my song seriously!”

“Oh, Roger, is that what this is about? You think we don’t take your music seriously? We do, of course, we do.” Freddie said softly.

“Well, that’s…Nice to hear,” Roger said awkwardly, looking at his hands. “But that’s not what this is about!” He yelled out to the other side of the door. Freddie growled and began to pull on the door handle with all his strength. The door didn’t budge, the lock just rattled around, firmly stuck. 

“Roger! Please! We have work to do!”

“Nope!”

“Roger!”

“Freddie!” Freddie let go of the door handle. He turned around and took a deep breath. Then he threw himself at the door, shoulder first. It didn’t budge. Freddie groaned.

“Roger, come out of the closet,” Freddie said, his voice stern but level.

“Okay. Fine. I like blokes.” 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” Freddie yelled, completely exasperated. “I support you though…” He added.

“I- Thanks, Fred…” Roger replied. He was picking at his fingernails now. 

“Is… Is that what the song is about?”

“No!” Roger yelled.

“Okay, okay, only checking. It must mean something to you. I get fighting for the song you wrote to be on the album just because you wrote it, but the B-side? It must be important.”

“Maybe it is.” Roger sighed.

“Well?” Roger didn’t respond. “C’mon Rog, I want to help you, but I have to have something to tell Brian and John.”

“No! You can’t tell them anything!”

“Why the bloody hell not? How are you going to convince them your song is important when they think it’s about shagging a car?” Roger let out a frustrated whine followed by something Freddie couldn’t quite make out.

“You must speak up darling.”

“I wrote it about Brian,” Roger said, barely audible. Freddie’s face lit up.

“Oh, Roger! You have to tell him!”

“I do not!” 

“Well, no, I suppose you don’t have to, but you really should.”

“No! And neither should you!” Freddie gasped in mock surprise.

“Darling I would never! But you should, really, here, I’ll just go get him.” 

“Freddie! Don’t you dare!” Roger yelled after Freddie who was already on his way to find Brian. 

John and Brian had done as Freddie had asked and made themselves comfortable in the studio. John had done so rather irritably. He walked briskly into the room and threw himself into a chair.

“I will never understand what you see in him,” John said. Brian blushed immediately.

“Shh! Not so loud!” Brian hissed. John rolled his eyes.

“Freddie isn’t going to get Roger out of that closet anytime soon Bri, you might as well answer the question.” Brian sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 

“I dunno, he’s my best friend, but he’s also, you know, sweet, and funny, and very easy on the eyes…” Brian trailed off.

“You’ve got it bad, mate.”

“Piss off! Go tune your bass or something.” Brian said and looked away from John. John jumped to his feet.

“My bass is tuned! We’ve been waiting for your boyfriend to stop having a hissy fit for over an hour!”

“Shut up John!” Brian rose to his feet. Suddenly Freddie flounced in.

“Yes do shut up John. I have news.” He waltzed over between the other two men and pushed them back down into their chairs. “Well darlings, I’ve done everything I possibly could. And I found out something very interesting. But alas, I am sworn to silence,” Freddie said, dramatically swooning into a chair of his own.

“So, Roger’s still in the closet then?” Brian sighed.

“Well, Roger is still in the cupboard.” 

“Closet, cupboard, what does it matter? We’re no closer to getting this album finished.” John said.

“It matters a great deal to Roger,” Freddie muttered. John groaned.

“Alright. I’ll go talk some sense into him.” John said, once again rising from his chair.

“No, no, no. Not you Deacy dear. Brain should go.”

“Oh that’s a brilliant idea,” John laughed sarcastically.

“Yes. I thought so too. So off you go Brian.” Freddie said, seemingly oblivious to John’s sarcasm. Brian sighed and left the studio, dragging his feet, but without saying another word.

When Brian re-entered the kitchen, he was greeted by Roger yelling through the door.

“Freddie? Is that you? I swear to god if you told Brian anything I’ll… I’ll rip your teeth out! They teach you how to do that in dental school!” Brian walked closer to the door, smiling a little over the blonde’s temper.

“Erm, that’s very scary Roger, but I’m not Freddie,” Brian said, slightly louder than normal. “What don’t you want Freddie to tell me?”

“Damn it!” Roger yelled. “It’s nothing.”

“Right, okay, well, would you come out of the cupboard, please?” 

“I’ve made my terms very clear. I’m not coming out until my song is on the B-side.”

“C’mon Rog? Really?”

“Yes really! It’s a good song!” 

“It is a good song.” Brian began carefully, “But is it the best song for the B-side?”

“Yes! It is!” Brian didn’t say anything in response. He sunk to the floor so that he and Roger were back to back but separated by the door. “Brian, this song is important to me,” Roger said quietly.

“Why?” 

“I… I can’t tell you.” Brian groaned and put his hand over his eyes.

“Roger, you can tell me anything, please, you’re my best friend.” 

“Brian, I-“ Roger started to speak but cut himself off.

“Please, you can trust me.” Brian pleaded, quietly. There was a long period of silence.

“You’re the car!” Roger finally blurted.

“I’m… The car?” Brian said slowly.

“Yeah, the car I’m in love with is you.”

“Oh.” Brian stood up and once again faced the door.

“I’m so sorry, are we okay? I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore, but can we at least still play together?” Roger said.

“Roger, open the door.” Roger continued to babble on about ruining everything and apologizing. 

“Roger,” Brian tried again, “Please open this door.” Finally, Roger complied with his request. His eyes were red and shiny like he was on the verge of tears. Immediately, Brian swept him into his arms and kissed him tenderly. Roger pulled away.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Roger asked.

“I love you too Roger, have for a while now.” Brian smiled at the blonde who smiled back at him. Brian leaned down to kiss him once again. This time Roger reciprocated and deepened the kiss. Brian lifted Roger off the ground and pressed him into the shelf in the cupboard. Roger flailed his arms, knocking some of the cans of food off of the shelf. He and Brian broke apart.

“Oops.” He said. 

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll get that later,” Brian said. He gave Roger a quick peck on the lips and then moved his attention lower, down Roger’s jaw and neck. He was focused on marking the soft skin of Roger’s neck when he heard a loud gasp. He looked out the doorway of the cupboard and into the kitchen. John and Freddie were standing in clear view of Roger and Brian. 

“I’m so glad that worked!” Freddie exclaimed. “Come on John, let’s leave them to it.” He grabbed John’s arm and started to walk out of the kitchen. “Be safe my dears! Use the Crisco, it does wonders!” Freddie called as he left. Roger and Brian kissed for a few moments longer, in their newfound privacy, but then Brian broke away.

“So,” He said, unable to conceal a smile. “Still wanna get your hand on my grease gun?”


End file.
